OBEDIENCE TRAINING WITH OLD MAN

So the 2Legs who feeds me and scratches my ears started yelling about how I never do the right thing.  I’m not sure what his name is, but when he takes me to his school where he teaches, the young 2Legs call him OldMan.  So I guess his name is OldMan.

Anyhow, he says we need to do some Obedience Training.  And I think that this is a fantastic opportunity, because OldMan almost never does what I want, even when I bite his big butt.  So I think it’s a great time to take him out for some Obedience Training, because he’s kind of slow and needs some work on doing what I want.

Well, we went out walking together.  I have to say, Sage must be dumb or something, because she walks right by his side and keeps looking up at him to see if she’s doing the right thing.

Obviously I need to teach her how to train OldMan the right way.  So I pull on my leash as hard as I can.  Look below - see how nice and straight the leash is?  That’s straight out of the textbook.  You need to get those nice straight lines to impress everybody.

OldMan wanted to walk on the pavement, like you see further below.  But I didn’t want to.  So I yanked him suddenly, and he landed on his face in the snow.  Nice pic of the snow right here:

He yelled and yelled - at least he made some sort of splatting sound because his mouth was full of snow (also a dead leaf).

Then I saw a tree and took us over there to train OldMan to “Stand-Stay” while I checked out the morning news.  Nice looking tree, right?

Well, there was a news flash that Frank the Boxer had gotten loose and was over on Concession Road, trying to find his way over to that hussy in heat over there.  I added to the news bulletin, as you can see below, by saying that that’s a fake story:  Frank doesn’t swing that way.  I should know, because Frank tried to mount me at the dog park last week.

So off we went after I corrected that false news report.  I hate those sensationalist tree blogs.

Wait, wait!  There’s a stick.  Gotta sniff it.

Okay.  Done.  Nice high notes of squirrel, with undertones of garbage.

Hey, there's that sewer thing.  I know there's something down there.  I know it.  Growl and pee.

Anyhow, back to home.  Oh, there’s the river.  Niagara River, I think the 2Legs call it.  I don’t care right now because there’s no geese to chase today.

Back home for us - and there’s some hard black street so that I can trip OldMan and watch him skid his face and hear him make some funny sounds:

Today's training session is over, I guess.  I feel fine, but OldMan is moving pretty slow.  He doesn't look so good, either...all covered with dirt, snow, and some scrapes on his face.

I deserve a treat for doing such a great job.  Maybe someday I'll take OldMan into the show ring.  By the time I'm finished with his training, I can wheel him around in a wheelchair.

Life is good.
Arthur TheBad Airedale